Saturday, March 19, 2011

Accountability Is Overrated

So much for holding myself accountable.  I just don't seem to make time to post everyday.  I'd love to, but every now and then I find I actually need sleep.

Are you wondering about the week? I haven't had that much of a laundry backlog in a long time.  Seems the more I try to make myself stick to a plan, the further I get from my goals. On the bright side, It was all clean, just piled in baskets downstairs. Poor trucker had to pack from the dryer for his weekend away.  I'd love to stay on top of it. Dishes and laundry will be the death of me one day.

But that's not today.

I have been spending a lot of time contemplating life and the quality of mine.  I find it hard to decipher what is making a difference and what is not.  It is also hard to determine which things make me happier.  Doing things for others is great and makes me happy, because it makes them happy.  But doing things that I LOVE makes me happy too.

Simply by writing here, I am making myself happy. I am constantly thinking about things I can write about, and what is going to end up in the book that WILL one day get published. I have even spent some time re-reading some stories I have written before.  I am surrounded by inspirations, my funny and crazy family give me plenty of topics and ideas!
more of these comics at
You all know that I've read a million things about how to be more organized, get more done, be more happy and just feel better in general.  And I think I have reached a decision.  I have 2 chapters left of the last book that I'm going to read on this topic.  I've been working, studying, practicing and trying for a few years now.  I think I had the most fun and even got the most done when I was just flying by the seat of my pants.

No matter which system (or method or whatever you want to call it)  I have attempted, I find that I am still rushed in everything I do. My life hasn't really changed.
If I am expected at 8:30, I will still always arrive at 8:29. 
I am capable of staying up late to put clothes in the dryer (and as an added bonus, we even turn the dryer on for a few minutes in the morning so there are cozy warm clothes to get into!) No one seems to care if the clothes are in the dresser or not, the boys don't even notice if they are washed!!
The best time to wash the kitchen floor IS NOT Monday afternoons, but any night, after kids go to bed. Then no one walks on them while they dry.
My house is never DIRTY, no matter how messy it might appear.

One thing that has changed is the guilt! I felt bad for not doing enough before, so I started looking for ways to do more.  Instead of releasing myself from the occasional guilt, I increased it. Because I can't even keep up to my OWN plans.  I wanted to do more and be more successful at it.

Well, I was good at it before,  I just didn't believe it.  Different people have different ways of doing things.  I am a strong supporter of my kids, I am their biggest advocate with schools, I am responsible for helping them to grow into strong adults who can take care of themselves. With additional difficulties popping up here and there, I am here to teach them how to make sense of the world around them and also to have fun and lighten the mood when needed.
That's what I do.  I look after their needs and my own and that's just right.  I cleaned things when I saw they needed to be cleaned. I stopped and smelled the roses more. I played in the snow or in the sun. I sometimes felt lazy, but I didn't feel bad about it.  I do admit that there are some positive effects of the studying and learning I have done in the last few years.  But I am going to stop looking for new answers. Admit that the best for me is here and just start enjoying my life.  The best is doing what needs to be done. When it needs to be done. And remembering to HAVE FUN in the process.

Bottom Line, My mission for gratitude last week was successful.  
for my normal, uninteresting, busy, crazy, happy, loving life!
And if I hadn't forced myself to think about gratitude, I just might not have figured this all out quite yet.  The best days of my week are those where I can shift my focus from the fast pace of ordinary life and enjoy the moments that fill my days.  Like it or not, this IS my life. There really is nothing wrong with it.  I need to start enjoying it!
Watch for more fun updates.  I'm going to work hard to focus on the positive and share the light side of life with you while I take time to remind myself that ...
Life IS Good

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