Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Another New Golf Club... Thanks, Dear...

Mothers Day is coming soon.  The trucker has already mentioned it a few times.  This is a day that should be for me, all about mommy, right?  I've seen the successful magical moves by the trucker to somehow make fathers day happen on mothers day.  
It's pretty amazing.  

A few years ago, I recieved a BRAND NEW CHIPPER!! Let me be clear.  I DO like golf, but I only go once a year. Maybe twice if the stars line up right and babysitters work out.  I had a set of hand me down clubs that I used for a while, until I was given a new set of ladies clubs that could improve my game.  Be real.  You know what will improve my game?  
Going more than once a year.

My new chipper... well, it was borrowed before I got to try it.  Since I couldn't go and the Trucker needed it.  And if I am brutally honest, I don't think it has ever resided in MY bag.

One year, Mothers day was an excuse used to justify an ATV purchase.  Have I told you how I feel about riding ATV's? Seriously... and now he denies it, too.  That particular unit is Macboy's.  Yep, crappy mothers day present... and then he was an indian giver on top of it all. 

So for anyone who wants to know.... 

Yes.  I would enjoy a massage at a day spa.  Sure you WILL find sales for mothers day flowers and I will accept them.  But the best gifts are the ones the kids make me anyway.  

I do understand that you are trying.  I should be lucky that you remember your own mother, let alone help the kids remember me.  I understand that you deserve a little help too. So here you go.

Busy Mama's Top 5 Mother's Day Gifts

1) A full night of sleep, YOU take the baby monitor.  (I'll even sleep in the guest room if I have to!)

2) A chance to use the bathroom with the door closed, locked and without someone standing outside the door calling me. (This might have to be at someone else's house.... we'll talk more later)

3) Someone ELSE to do the dishes.  Anyone. And I don't care if they even get put in the wrong cupboards.  I just don't want to do them.  (Don't put them away randomly on purpose.  I'm a mom, I can tell.)

4)  Sleep in time.  I will get my own breakfast.  I don't need breakfast in bed. Just let me sleep until I am ready to get up! (You WILL have to get up before me.  The kids need breakfast!!)

5) A Mute button.  If life had a mute button, I would be in heaven.  Or, maybe not even that extreme... a PAUSE button.  (Do not think you can substitute the Staples Easy Button.... I know we already own one and you are NOT regifting.  I think I bought it in the first place!!)

There you have it.  Not rocket science here. I'm pretty easy to please.  I don't want your money or gifts... I want to see you WORK.
But since I know you better than anyone else.... I'll try to find a babysitter at least one extra time this summer so I can try out my new putter/driver/hybrid... whatever the case may be.  But remember, when I finally get out often enough and I maybe even beat you once.....

ITS YOUR FAULT. 

2 comments:

  1. Something tells me this will involve me. :)

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  2. bahahahaha... best way to offer your involvement... Completely ANONYMOUS. Are you a babysitter or a golfing buddy? LOL

    ReplyDelete