Do You Suffer From IMS?

There is no known cure.  There are only treatments that can make this syndrome bearable.  I have had this for most of my life, but didn't really know that it was a problem. Until I started meeting up with more people who don't have it and saw first hand the difference in their day to day living.

Like some other conditions, this is not life threatening. I will never die from it, though others around me could... if it isn't handled correctly.  

I suffer from...

Irritable Morning Syndrome. 

The signs are obvious. The glazed eyes, the crazy hair, the "yesterday's sweatpants."  My immediate family knows and understands this problem of mine. They have watched it for years, long before I really acknowledged it.  They have tried to help, they have tried to cure me, they have also tried acceptance. But in reality, it's hard to accept.

Signs & Symptoms.
(not an exhaustive list)

1. Need for multiple alarm clocks. Possibly a wake up call also.
2. Difficulty putting feet on the floor in the morning.
3. Inability to open eyes fully for 10-15 minutes from the time you do get your feet on the floor.
4. Decision making and dressing is incredibly difficult, often resulting in the cleanest dirty pair of sweat pants near the bed.
5. Inability to speak coherently until mid-second-cup of coffee.
6. Showering within the first 30 minutes of getting out of bed is physically painful. For Real.
7. Tendency to arrive at any early morning appointments RIGHT. ON. TIME.

(One of my biggest complaints to the trucker was about wake-up calls. I explained that I love that he is willing to phone me in the morning but I hate when he forgets that I'm not really AWAKE.)

As mentioned before, there is no cure. After 32 years, if there was one I would have found it. There are only means to treat the symptoms and bear with the process of mornings.

Tips and Tricks for Treatment.

• An understanding husband is essential. And he will need to be reminded occasionally so he doesn't request a big favor when I am sure NOT to remember even talking to him.
• Multiple alarms available. Preferable scattered through your room.  A TV that has a timer is good as the talking will draw you out of your morning coma. Also a Cell Phone randomly placed at night for the wake up call is best as you can confuse yourself into waking up, simply because you are not sure where it is.
• A coffee pot with a timer.  This way there is no delay to the caffeine infusion.
• With Children, prepare as much as humanly possible the night before. Thus leaving mornings as simple as possible (eat & dress & go)
• Lots and Lots of Coffee.
• Aside from your wake up call, don't answer the phone. Unless you have to of course.. nothing good comes of conversations you don't remember.
• Getting to bed earlier can be helpful but this is not a guarantee for anything.  (generally speaking, the earlier you go to bed directly coincides with the number of times your children wake you during the night)
• Did I mention Coffee?

For others out there who suffer in silence as I have, know that you are not alone.  

Rise Up... Speak Out...

Just not first thing in the morning.

If you wish to make my life just a little more bearable... 

donations to the coffee fund will be graciously accepted.

Lighten Up Will Ya?

I'm pretty miserable lately. At least I sure sound like it. It's one of those things where you are quicker to complain than you are to share good things.  So for my own sense of sanity, here is a list of some good news (or funny moments) from my week.

...this morning, Angel Baby decided to drink the milk from her cereal.  With a straw. She set the bowl on her lap and drank all of it.  And was incredibly proud of herself. (hubbs had the camera so sadly no picture. But I laughed like crazy)

...Art likes the term touché but he doesn't really understand it. So it gets used WAY wrong. It's kind of funny.

...Macboy got mad and walked out of class. He walked all the way home at 9 am. He's in Grade 5. (It starts already?!?!?)

...I read a line in a book this week that says McDonalds Saves Lives. The happy meal has saved many children and a few husbands from a painful death. I like this book.  And this is just the first chapter.

...I successfully managed to confuse my kids by jumping into a game I would normally give them crap for starting.

...Art asked me for tea last night. Strange request, but he knows that I like it before bed, it helps me relax.  Now I'm out of peppermint :(

...Angel Baby's new word this week is POWER. Since I told her the iPad had no power and we need to charge it.

...I went to school today to meet my boys, came home with a bike and helmet, lock and backpack. And no boys. Happens often.

...I made a quick trip to the bank this week. Then stopped at Timmies.  Trucker called while I was headed home.  He asked where I had gone, so I told him "the bank."  Then Angel Baby started Yelling, I mean REALLY YELLING.... "Poffee, Poffeeeee!!! Mommy! Poffee!"  So I had to confess.... and he was jealous.

...I'm searching for the invisible sign on the back of my laptop. It seems to say, "thank you for ignoring me all day. I'm now available to listen to you. Please start talking."  Angel baby probably drew it there with her magic markers.

...Angel Baby also managed to redecorate Macboy's room this week. Though I made her clean it up this time (thank goodness for dry erase),  and she laughed just as much washing it off.

My week hasn't been all bad, even if it hasn't been great.  I hope for change, as always, and try to count my blessings.

Ten Reasons My Week Was Awesome

Well, I have recently realized that I've forgotten you. I've hyperfocused on Wendy Can't Cook and hit some pretty awesome milestones. (Well awesome to me anyway)  But I got a bit sidetracked on the direction of these blogs and then I lost my internet service entirely so I have to work on work first. Then I can go back to writing as the inspiration hits me. Or the kids do something that makes me slap my forehead.

So today... I'm just gonna do a quick recap of my week.  The Highlight Reel of my sad little life:

1. I got set up to do the #31DBBB with the @SITSgirls.  I am a bit behind as I had no internet this week, but I'll be back on track by Monday, I swear!
2. Media Free night was a HUGE success.  No one went crazy or got really cranky, however I do worry that I upset the gods of wi-fi.  My internet and phone ONLY worked on the one day I swore to turn everything off. Karma?  You think?
3. The Trucker was home every night in time for dinner. Sadly that doesn't always work out for us. I try to make sure we all sit down and eat together. It took a lot of persistence to convince my family they wouldn't die with the TV off during dinner.
4. My work meeting. Yeah, I look forward to work. It's a pretty sweet deal here.  I have only one real commitment outside of home each month.  It's a bonus for me, not an inconvenience. I get to show that my brain is useful for more than cleaning up puke stains or washing clothes. I get to spend a whole day with ADULTS. And I even get paid for it! :)
5. Being Thanked. Everyone loves to hear they are appreciated.  My son's teachers said thank you again to me this week.  For doing only what I think every parent should do.  Pay attention and support your childrens education.
6. Counting down how may days until summer holidays with the kids.
7. Cutting my phone bill by $25 bucks a month.  Dear phone company...Your bad service is the reason I price shop. Glad you decided to step it up and save my business.
8. Getting my phone and internet service back. The reasons I miss the internet are obvious, but seriously I missed my landline more than anything else.  "Mom, can I call a friend and go play?"  "Yes, dear, when we have a phone again." :(
9. Saturday Mornings and Pancakes. Nuff said.
10. An unplanned weekend. Well, some plans, I have to catch back up to work, but I have no commitments that I need to rebook to do it. I intend to muddle my way through each step and I know that the kids are happy to stay in PJ's all weekend while I do it. (not because they need me to dress them, but because they prefer to stay home as much as they can. That's a good thing right?)

I'm pretty easy to please most of the time. 

What made your week super? 

Do I Look Fat In This?

Or tired?
Or supremely lazy?
Or like I have been used as a Kleenex all day?

Lately, I think the answers to all of these questions are YES. And a very loud YES indeed.  However, my family is well trained enough to NEVER say so, and my friends are my friends because they are either nice enough to keep those thoughts to themselves, or they answer the same questions the same way as I do. Haha.

I had a fun meeting for work yesterday.  Yes, occasionally, I have fun at work (actually a lot, but don't tell my boss that. He might think that I don't really want a raise!!).  We were visited by an image consultant.  Gotta love her for trying.  Her advice is FANTASTIC for those who don't have small kids, or those who work full time and have a locking wardrobe. (yes, it needs to lock... or said children will wipe their noses on your dress pants while playing hide and seek in your closet.  AND It's very unlikely you'll notice until you are already in a meeting or at the office.)

I'm not saying it's impossible for a mom to not have style.  We can.  But we are also realistic.  We were offered 10 commandments for shopping, all of which I will follow when all of my children can successfully use Kleenex without assistance.  So now I'll offer my reasons for NOT following.

1. Yes, high quality fabrics last longer.  But I will not buy $200 pants because I have to spend that $200 on groceries or diapers or a new lock for the closet.  I have $20.00 right now, and these pants are 15.00 and by fluke in my size, so I will buy CHEAP PANTS.

2. Crayons hide in washing machines. And if you always wash everything with cold water, they can and WILL stay hidden until they see an nice unsuspecting two hundred dollar pair of pants. At this point, they will jump out and bury themselves in your clothes, hitching a ride into your dryer where it will spread the love all OVER.  (much like the mud puddle in Robert Munsch.)

3. I just made reference to Robert Munsch in a post about fashion.

4. Jeans are dressing "UP"  I am not in pj's or sweatpants.

5. I'm married to a trucker. I don't want to make him look bad.

6. I don't want to analyze seams on the shoulder, just to see if it is a more cushioned place for you to smear your chocolate/snot/teary face.

7. EVERYTHING gets washed in cold water. I do not use special soaps. I almost never use a delicate cycle. Dry Clean Only = wash in cold but don't put in dryer.

8. I don't iron.  I have a steamer to fix those wrinkles that develop from forgetting the laundry in a basket for a few days.  Takes 3 seconds, no pressing, no seam lines.

9. I quit smoking and gained weight.  This extra weight is new enough that I am still refusing to allow it permanent residence on my a$$.  I won't buy clothes that fit this shape!!

10.  Accessories are made from random buttons or macaroni. Fancy stitching actually looks more like markers. (Yeah, the box that said washable LIED.)

Applique?  is that french for coffee stains?

I'm not saying our presenter was wrong.  I agree wholeheartedly with her advice. Especially ones like not wearing skinny jeans if you are not skinny.  And my wardrobe before I ...um... outgrew it, fits many of her rules.  But I still never paid that much for anything, I got a job at their outlet store and spend 5-10 bucks on timeless, well made, high quality, 200$ pieces.

I think that the image consultant industry is run by people who don't have kids (or have livein nannies, maybe), are super skinny, and have more money and time than they should.

And, as I can admit things more freely here, I will tell you that the advice she gave yesterday has sunk in.  I did not dress in my usual 'uniform' today.  I am in PJ's. so there.

Proud Shining Moments of Mommyhood

Tonight when I went to tuck Art in for the night, he was lying perfectly still and flat on his back.

I brushed his hair back off his forehead as I grew accustomed to doing before the last hair cut and I caught that little glimmer in the corner of his eye.  I slowly leaned down to give him a good night kiss there and

I yanked the covers off.
Sure enough, the little monkey had toys under there.  Three monster trucks and a key on a ring.  I put the cars back and almost dropped one.  Then I realized they were locked together by the front bumpers.  The lock is from his little journal.

I said "Art, you need to take these apart. One of these days you'll be looking for the lock and forget where you put it."

"No"  he says, "I won't, I'll forget where I put the keys."

Nothin' but pride. D'oh.