The Hardest Part Of Quitting Smoking

So far, things are going not too bad. 

I have enlisted the help of a Nicorette aid.  Which does take the "I want to rip someone's head off" edge of the cravings.

I had a slip in resolve yesterday, but then really thought about what I was doing.  It tasted so awful having not had that for more than 24 hours.  It stunk, gave me a really gross after taste and left a film in my mouth.  It also, you can ask the hubby, made me so light-headed and AIR-headed for quite a while afterwards.  It was like being drunk.  I couldn't talk straight!

So I was reminded, by making a mistake in quitting, that mistakes are GOOD. We learn from them and move on.  

I woke up this morning, knowing that I could do this.  I felt strong and in control. I made sure that I grabbed the nicorette before I took the kids to school. My normal routine means that my first smoke of the day was after dropping kids off at school.  I'd have the smoke before I got back in the house when I came home.

I don't have to worry about eliminating things like coffee or drinking, even temporarily, as I have smoked outside 100% of the time.  I never had my coffee with a smoke.  And besides the fact that smoking in bars is illegal now, I have only drank maybe twice this year!  I've got a lot of advantages behind me and I know that.

I have learned that much of the reason I smoke when I am at home, no matter how cold it was outside, was to get a break from the busy-ness of the house and the noise level of the kids.  It was less about the cigarette and more about the peace and quiet or break.

So, the hardest part of quitting so far?

Timing!  I can't drink my coffee while sucking on the nicorette lozenge. Even if it is too close after the lozenge I feel that acidic feeling in the back of my throat.  My morning revolves around coffee! (and much of my afternoon and occasionally my evenings...) I'm hopeful though, maybe this is what I need to actually remember to FINISH a cup in one sitting?  I have to alternate!

Normally, I get the coffee ready and have my first cup in the Go-Mug when I take the kids to school. Smoke when I come back, come in and refill the coffee. Today, I grabbed the lozenge first, and let it carry me through getting the kids to school. Then when I got home I was able to pour my coffee right away and enjoy the whole thing, while it was hot.

The trouble came around the third cup of coffee, I wanted my coffee but I was starting to feel the craving pretty strong... I had to decide which was first.

Beating this smoking monster WON. I can have coffee later. (wow, did I say that out loud??)

I have also noticed that during the day, when it's just the little one and I, and I am working at home, I often have a smoke in 'transitional' periods.  Switching from breakfast with the wee one to starting work, or getting off the computer for a phone call. Or after an unexpected break, like when I'm working hard and some unfriendly aroma makes me stop to change a diaper!  I would go have a smoke before getting back to the first task.

I know that time issues would not be likely for someone who smoked in their home and I am grateful that the trucker and I have never wavered on that issue.  I'd estimate that by not smoking, I save myself at least an hour and a half every day.  Time that could be much better used, for sure!  No more getting the coats and shoes and gloves on to go outside and freeze!  I've said for years that winter is the best time to quit for me.

I don't know why I've waited so long.

Wish me luck!  (And strength)